My mom’s friends threw me a really lovely shower several weeks ago. I opened presents, ate cupcakes and was generally, spoiled rotten. It was very nice to say the least. At this particular shower, I got a very special gift from my mom. She had been keeping a journal recounting her thoughts on raising me off and on for the last 30 or so years.

Last week, I cracked it open and started reading. After five entries, I had to stop, because I was crying. Here’s a part of an entry from the day I was born:

“Dear Sweet Lane, You were born tonight at 1:59 a.m. Welcome to our love. Your Daddy and are so excited we won’t sleep for weeks.”

It was filled with the nicest (albeit biased) sentiments about me. You could tell from the first page just how excited she was to be my mom. And, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m going to be someone’s mother. In a few weeks (or days), a very special little girl, who I haven’t met yet, will think of me as her mom. The whole thing kind of blows my mind.

Although I feel very fortunate to be pregnant and have this baby, pregnancy has not been an easy thing for me. Uncertainty and discomfort have made me panicky and emotional. The last nine months have been like one, giant rollercoaster. And quite frankly, I’m not a roller coaster person. Reading this sweet journal reminded me of how much I am loved and how important my relationship will be with Miss Elliott.

So, I’d like to say a huge thank you to my sweet mom for reminding me of how wonderful it is to love and be loved by someone so unconditionally.